So I mentioned that I have a new phone that came with SIRI. My daughter and I did what all geeks do with a new piece of technology. We asked it stupid question. After you must know the limitation of your tools before getting down to serious work, right?
I laughed so hard at this especially the way that it was said. So of course I had to hear it again.
Wait! That was a different answer! So we tried again…
Okay, obviously we are getting nowhere on this one. Time for a new question…
I’m beginning to think SIRI has an attitude. Well two can play at that game…
Alright, if you are so smart, What is the answer to life, the universe, and everything?
Well then, that’s me schooled!
So lesson learned. Obviously Apple hired someone just like me to answer my stupid questions.
So sayeth my daughter.
She’s 14 and awesome. However, she still struggles with self-esteem just like all teenagers. Although, unlike most teenagers, my daughter has a solution to her darker days.
She says that when she is feeling down and unsure. She puts on her 70s disco music and reminds herself that a drag queen would say, “Girl, I am fierce!” Complete with the snapping fingers and the “Walk like an Egyptian” dance head swivel. She also watches RuPaul’s Drag Race as a pick me up.
A lot of people would condemn their child for emulating a drag queen, but not me. I have a very great friend who is a drag queen and if my daughter wants to follow in the intrepid footsteps of one who will be themselves no matter what, then I say “YOU GO, GIRL!”
My daughter roped me into helping with her English project. I was not thrilled to be on camera but after we started working, it turned out to be a blast!
Had to share! It’s too funny to keep to ourselves.
My daughter had a problem. She REALLY wanted Raman but she REALLY wanted something healthy.
I said, “Leah, seriously, add some veggies. It will be like pot noodles but fresh and homemade.”
She said, “OH, DUH!”
Some spring onions, peas and corn later…..
Everyone thinks that Dad is the one to look out for when it comes to a daughter dating, but not in This family!
Yes, Dad will be properly menacing when a potential boyfriend comes around, but Mom…
My daughter is 14. I don’t think she is old enough to date. Her father doesn’t think she is old enough to date. My daughter thought otherwise. After laying down the rules about dating she decided to skirt the rules and found a boyfriend. I happen to see them one day (this was about a year ago) walking together with his arm around her shoulders. This did not please Mama!
We had a long discussion of the situation and being the logical parent that I am I realized that if she was going to do this behind my back then I’d rather see it coming. So I allowed the dating to continue provided I got to meet the kid.
The fun part comes when because I know his parents I got to have a little chat with them. His mom agreed with me 14 was too young to date but we’d rather see it coming than have them sneak around. So I warned her that I intended to put the fear of Mom into her son. She said go for it. Better he knew where he stood from the beginning.
So I got to meet the boyfriend. Pleasantly I said, “Hi, I’m mom. Glad to finally meet you.”
He smiled and nodded already scared if me.
I said, “I just want you to know that I you hurt my daughter, I have a can opener and I will use it.” Then I smiled and said, “Ok nice to meet you.”
They dated for a little over six months and were really cute together kinda like an old married couple. You know just happy to be around each other, none of this crazy hormonal drama stuff.
My daughter has since decided that 14 is too young to date and would rather work on her artwork. I, however, am infamous with the boys at school.
Lesson learned and passed on – you don’t mess with a mom.
The latest turmoil from that swirling den of hormonal imbalances and petty power shifting otherwise known as the middle school…Dom bum bom. (That was ominous music at the end there in case you weren’t sure.)
At dinner the other night, my daughter was fervently ranting about the new fad gripping her classmates – coloring their hair with bright colors and gauging their ears. (For those of you who are not up on fashion, this is the practice of making the pierced holes in your ears bigger and bigger by gradually wearing larger diameter earrings.) Personally it’s not my thing but a lot of people like it.
Please understand that my daughter is not pleading and ranting because she wants to color her hair and gauge her ears. That is not what this is about. Over the past year my daughter has had several colors of hair including purple. However, I won’t let her gauge her ears until she is older.
The real issue here is that when my daughter colored her hair and expressed her individuality when no one else was doing it she was made fun of and called an Emo. My daughter has since gotten past her colorful stage an likes get hair brown again. Now everyone wants to color their hair blue or whatever and it’s suddenly cool. Needless to say this has angered my daughter. So I had to explain…
The human species is a herd animal a lot like a herd of cows. In a cow herd, the herd will chose a lead cow. It could be young or old. No one really knows how the lead cow is chosen, but the herd agrees and they follow that cow wherever it goes. Humans are much the same one person will think some thing is amazing and start doing it. Suddenly the whole herd (aka a group of people) will follow along and think this thing is amazing too. This is called a fad. It happens in all cultures.
The only difference at a middle school is that the lead teenager is not chosen by the herd but is self appointed and dominates the herd by personality and intimidation. The herd will follow this person out of fear of ridicule. This is known as “The mean girls effect”. I’m sure you’ve heard of the movie Mean Girls
However, there is a strange dynamic that happens in the middle school. Every once in a whole there will be an outcast that comes along who is the natural leader and has a personality that will not be dominated. This leader is a trend setter ahead of their time who’s sense of individuality inspires other and is nice enough not to try and force others to do what she wants them to but instead encourages others to seek out their own happy place and be themselves. This angers the self appointed leader…and the bullying begins.
To keep their position as leader by fear the teen must force others to tease and hate on the natural leader. It is inevitable. The secret to getting past this is the parents of the natural leader must instill a grounded sense of self in their child and reassure them that their individuality is indeed the better quality. Thinking outside that bubble of intimidation is what makes culture move forward in a positive way instead of stagnating in fear dominated ignorance.
To this explanation my daughter thanked me for raising her outside the bubble. It’s fine to be a herd animal but not if the herd follows a fool of a cliff.