What is wrong with me?

I know I’m a couple of days late with this. Just goes to show you that something has gone wrong with me. What you ask? Damned if I know.

I was so on top of things a while ago. I had blog posts every day. I had a clean house and mostly balanced children. I was working toward my goal of being a published author and I was writing every day. I even had time to watch movies.

And now look at me. I’m running to catch up every single moment of every day. I barely get posts done in time for once a week much less writing everyday. I haven’t had time to write in weeks. My house is mostly clean but there always seems to be something that needs fixed or sorted. There is an overwhelming pile of paperwork that needs gone through and filed or recycled. I never bake anymore and my meals have turned into convenience food.

I don’t know what happened. It’s like a mud slide off a mountain. One moment you are fine and then next you’re up to to your neck and can’t move an inch to help yourself. Can I blame it on summer? Suddenly the kids are home and nothing stays put? I could, but I’d be lying. Can I blame it on the fact that I’m on my own and my husband is gone for work a lot so I have to do absolutely everything? I could, but I don’t know that that is the whole problem. Is it time management? Organization? Maybe. Is it that I have too many irons in the fire? Possibly.

I think it is just that I’m tired.

I know we all get tired. But I don’t just mean tired, I mean TIRED. Bone weary exhausted tired. Mentally exhausted tired. Time to lay down and surrender tired.

But guess what? I can’t stop. I have kids.

Parenting can be hard especially in this day and age with all the crazy crap that goes on not only in real life but in cyberspace. I get mentally strained just trying to keep up with all the problems that my kids are facing and I get overwhelmed trying to find ways to guide them through the  alligator infested waters of growing up. Then add to that the feeling of fruitlessness because they don’t listen and do what they want anyway only to come back saying, “Mom, why did that happen to me?”

SO the question is how do we get back on track? How do we resurface after that massive wave we were managing to surf on has swamped us?

 

I can throw all kinds of words at you. Hope, Faith, Belief.

But what it comes down to is Perseverance.

One day at a time.

One foot in front of the other.

Never stopping no matter how tired or overwhelmed you feel.

Please by all means take some time to yourself, have a bath, take a nap (If you can!) Try to give yourself a break. But realize that you will have to get back in those trenches. You will still fight the good fight for your kids and you will have to do it while juggling the rest of your life responsibilities.

Prioritize.

It’s not easy, believe me. You will have to choose between a clean house and a blog post, writing or playing with your kids, house work or yard work. You may need to let the yard go because you can’t watch your kids and landscape at the same time. Just go with it and ask yourself: what is really the most important thing right now?

In the end you will hit that sweet spot where you are riding the wave and not drowning under it, where you are standing on the mountain vista now sliding down it into a muddy pit. It will change, but it will take time and that is okay.

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