The Saga of Gertrude the Tuna…

Author’s note: I found a stack of old notes the other day and they made me giggle. I thought I would share them. When I worked at the Hot Java Cafe in Sterling CO, it was my task in the morning to make tuna salad for the lunch menu. Tuna salad was very popular so we made a lot of it. Every time it was made it had to be labeled with the date it was made and the date it was no longer good (10 days maximum shelf life). Needless to say we got bored with only writing two dates so my partner in crime and I started making the label a little more interesting. It is incomplete because not everyone shared our humor and threw the labels away. What is left is what we managed to save. This is what follows.

The Saga of Gertrude the Tuna

By Adriana  and Cyrena

Based on the shelf life of the tuna salad at Hot Java Café


…The continued saga of Gertrude the Tuna

Gertrude returned on 1-31 from her quest, tired but triumphant. With her allies now safe Gertrude was now free to plan her return to the throne. Smuggled into the café under the cover of snow and in disguise she awaits her appointed day Feb 9…

…The saga continues…

After much planning and a long wait Gertrude’s opportunity arose on Feb 10. The princess had to be over thrown, but first Gertrude had to gain her trust and get into her circle. She has til Feb 20 before the princess suspects…

The saga of Gertrude the Tuna continues…

On Feb 28 Gertrude has returned from her first day within the princess’s inner circle. She is utterly depressed from all of the negative energies. Desperately missing her gloriously fun days in the travelling circus, it saddens her that she must return to the princess’ side on March 10 for more sucking up

After lulling the evil princess into ta false sense of security by appearing to abandon her quest, Gertrude the Tuna rises again on 3-18 to strike down the Tyrant. Gertrude has unto 3-28 before the guard find her and put her down. Yes Kill her!

The saga continues…

Deftly avoiding the traps laid by the princess’ guards. Gertrude has once again gone into hiding. After hours of thoughtful brooding Gertrude emerges on 3-22 with a plan. Annoyed and disgusted by the princess’ underhanded attempts on her life she decides to go on the offensive. Gathering together ingredients from the 4 corners of the world she starts to brew The Bowl of Poisonous Death…It will be ready on 4-1

The saga of Gertrude continues…

Scattered and bewildered Gertrude faces the moment of truth…will the vat of poisonous death be enough to stop the princess. She delivered it on 4-6. Now she must wait with her allies in hiding with fin biting tension. Will it work? They will know by 4-16.



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