The old saying goes “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”
That puts our measuring sticks in someone else’s hand. This seems wrong to me.
I understand that it is a wonderful thing to be loved and thought beautiful by someone else. However, we must love ourselves first.
So I say, “Beauty is in the mind of the one who doesn’t look in the mirror.”
I’m talking about mental self-image.
Let me explain. Have you ever put on an outfit and FELT amazing? Before ever looking in a mirror, you thought to yourself, “I am a goddess!” You FELT like you could do anything. Like you could put all the movie stars to shame on an red carpet. You have mental image of what you look like without ever SEEING yourself. You know you are beautiful, but then you went and looked in a mirror…
Suddenly the outfit is terrible. It doesn’t fit right. It’s the wrong color. You look like you gained fifty pounds since putting it on. Your hair is the wrong color or style or length.
WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!
You were beautiful a minute ago! How did taking those couple if step to the mirror change all that?
Oh that’s right the mirror is the reflection of what society will see. All the negative imagery and impossible standards that we must live up to are in that mirror.
Why do we do that? Why do we put our measuring stick in the hands of a flimsy piece of glass with some shiny paper on the back? Aren’t we, ourselves, a better judge of our own worthiness to be placed in the realm of beauty?
If you FEEL beautiful, then you are!
If you have your own style and you FEEL awesome about yourself when you wear it, wear it!
Fashion is a trend, a guideline for people to feel connected. It is not an absolute. Hair styles are as individualistic as fingerprints. You must find what makes you FEEL beautiful not what you think others will want to see.
I know for a fact that I would look silly dressing in the latest fashions of skinny jeans or short shorts. I am not built for that. It doesn’t make me FEEL beautiful. It makes me feel silly. I don’t match any style that is worn in the town where I live. I stick out like a palm tree in Alaska. But it’s ok. When I wear my “new age hippie dresses” I FEEL amazing, as long as I don’t ask the mirror. So if I want to be beautiful I just look at my mental image of my self- she’s gorgeous!
It doesn’t take others long to see your beauty when they can see that you feel it inside already. It’ll shine right through. And you never know it might just inspire someone to be beautiful too.
adriana pridemore 
Beautifully written. How very true. Unfortunately, us women are mostly judged on our appearance to start with but looks fade fast. Its the beauty and the grace on the inside that lasts and in the end its these that will make us remain beautiful (and keep our partners happy) into old age.