What am I doing?

I seem I have lost my way. I always said the just taking one step to the left would solve our problems. So I took the step. Unfortunately I think it was to the right not the left.
I have been trying so hard to set up my author platform. Get noticed. Get a readership. I got a job trying to earn some extra cash to pay the doctor bills that have racked up. I’m trying to be dad and mom, writer, housekeeper, gardener, researcher, counselor to my family, doctor for my kids, and find time to exercise to keep my pain at a manageable level. There simply aren’t enough hours in the day.
I haven’t written anything new for my books. I’m trying so hard to “get myself out there” that there’s nothing to put out there.
Is what I’m doing the right the thing?
Am I putting the cart before the horse?
I have a novel finished and I have been sending it out to agents but all I get is rejection form letters.
Should I self-publish?
I just put the first few chapters on Wattpad but will anyone read them?
Some people have thousands of followers. I don’t. Did I make a mistake?
So much if the writer’s world is uncertainty, never really knowing if you’re doing okay. It is so hard to maintain optimism when faced with giant chasms of unfamiliar territory.

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