Heart ripped out, again!

You would think that I would be used to it, but oh no, it hurts every time.
My husband and I have been married for 17 years and most of the time that we have been together he has had jobs that entail him being gone. Now, I know that in this day and age of the global economy, travel for work is very common. However it never stops hurting when he comes home and says that he has to leave the next day for (insert random location here). Every single time it is like a knife to my heart. I ball my head off and feel like my guts are turning to concrete. I shake and I can’t sleep.
I have two kids one extremely smart and one autistic, so life without dad around can be ridiculously hard. We still talk every night on the phone and try to Skype, but it is hard on the kids and I end up feeling like a single mom and he feels guilty for not being here with us.
Don’t get me wrong I am more than grateful that he has a job and can take care of us like he does. I just wish it didn’t hurt so much.

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